January is a perfect time to reflect on the past year and reassess your goals for the year ahead as a couple. Some years are filled with joy and ease, while others require persistence and growth through challenges. Regardless of the season, as Christians, we have the ability to overcome habits and actions that no longer serve us and embrace new behaviors that lead to a flourishing relationship.
The holidays are often painted as the most wonderful time of the year, filled with joy, laughter, and togetherness. But let’s be honest: they can also bring stress, tension, and uncomfortable moments—especially when navigating family dynamics.
It is not uncommon for me to remind clients during sessions that love is more than an emotion we feel, but also a choice we make daily and an action. Love is an emotion we feel powered by connection. Love is a choice we make each morning when we wake up, and actively throughout the day. Love is the way we show affection to our partner. Love is such a deep concept. I was reading, A Roadmap for Couple Therapy, in some of my downtime, and in chapter 3 the quote above really stuck out to me. Let’s break this down and explore it together, shall we?
Are you someone who likes to hold hands, give or receive hugs, or just be close to people physically? We each have different preferences in how we feel loved. Sometimes we give love differently from how we receive it. When it comes to the love language of physical touch, people can have different views of what this looks like. Many might think of physical touch primarily for intimacy, but it’s much more than that. It’s a great way to show your “nearness,” “I’m thinking of you,” and “I like you.” A simple touch of the hand or even just being close can make your partner feel more safe, secure, and connected to you.
As human beings, we’re naturally drawn to connect with others. We crave relationships that bring us joy, support, and strength. But while connection can be fulfilling, it can also expose us to misunderstandings and moments of hurt. Life often presents us with difficult moments when we feel isolated and vulnerable, and it’s in these times that the power of community can step in, providing us with comfort, understanding, and a safe space to begin the healing process.
In the wake of Hurricane Helene, many are still grappling with its impact. Sadly, it’s often only after we lose something that we realize how fortunate we are. Millions lost power, and many in rural areas were left without water because they relied on electric wells. Gas became scarce as stations lost power, and food spoiled quickly with refrigerators and freezers out of commission. Only the most prepared among us escaped with minimal impact. Who would have thought a chainsaw would be an essential item for preparedness? We may not be laughing at those “preppers” anymore.
Have you ever heard of anyone talking about needing boundaries? Maybe you’ve heard of boundaries when it refers to not wanting to let someone or something continue to negatively affect you. Have you also heard of needing boundaries in your marriage or relationship? Not sure you need boundaries? The Bible says that “two shall become one flesh.” This can be confusing. How can setting limits and boundaries in our relationships be a good thing, especially when it comes to committed, put a ring on it, relationships?
Among the five love languages, acts of service may be the easiest love language to perform. This is because ANY act done with intentionality and thought can make a person who has this primary love language feel appreciated and loved. Although, it’s not that simple, because just doing ANY act of love, doesn’t necessarily translate to a person feeling loved.
The other evening I finally had the chance to go see Inside Out 2, which recently came out in movie theaters. It has been on my to-watch list since I saw its previews. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed the first one (Inside Out). I was blown away after watching the second one! After the credits rolled I looked over to my husband and told him we needed to talk about this movie in the car because of how much they did well.
Recently, several of my new clients have come to me highlighting that they are struggling with specific areas in their life where they feel stuck. As I have been working with them, the topic of habits has regularly arisen in our conversations. These conversations reminded me that our tendencies play a huge role in the outcome of most things we do. Yes, other factors affect our daily lives, such as the environment, other people, specific circumstances, and more. But it’s amazing how our consistent patterns of behavior and choices play a large role in our successes and when we fall short of our aspirations.
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