In the mental health profession, we often talk about setting boundaries—whether in our interpersonal relationships, in how we relate to ourselves, or in the expectations we hold. But before we can set boundaries, we have to understand what they are and why they matter.
Life can get busy. After marriage, many things can happen. Unexpected things! Sometimes it’s self-inflicted. Other times life just throws us curve balls. It shouldn’t really be a surprise when a marriage gets stale or stuck. However, as counselors, we have so many couples come to us because of this problem. It makes us wonder why many more aren’t coming because, from my experience and understanding, lots of couples struggle with a lack of intimacy, affection, or the dreaded roommate paralysis.
In our previous post, “New Year, New Hope: Goal Setting for a Stronger Marriage,” we discussed how setting goals as a couple can breathe new life into your relationship. Now, we’re diving even deeper with additional tips and strategies to help you maintain momentum and create lasting change throughout the year. Let’s explore three more ways to strengthen your bond and keep the spirit of renewal alive in your partnership.
The holidays are often painted as the most wonderful time of the year, filled with joy, laughter, and togetherness. But let’s be honest: they can also bring stress, tension, and uncomfortable moments—especially when navigating family dynamics.
It is not uncommon for me to remind clients during sessions that love is more than an emotion we feel, but also a choice we make daily and an action. Love is an emotion we feel powered by connection. Love is a choice we make each morning when we wake up, and actively throughout the day. Love is the way we show affection to our partner. Love is such a deep concept. I was reading, A Roadmap for Couple Therapy, in some of my downtime, and in chapter 3 the quote above really stuck out to me. Let’s break this down and explore it together, shall we?
Are you someone who likes to hold hands, give or receive hugs, or just be close to people physically? We each have different preferences in how we feel loved. Sometimes we give love differently from how we receive it. When it comes to the love language of physical touch, people can have different views of what this looks like. Many might think of physical touch primarily for intimacy, but it’s much more than that. It’s a great way to show your “nearness,” “I’m thinking of you,” and “I like you.” A simple touch of the hand or even just being close can make your partner feel more safe, secure, and connected to you.
Have you ever heard of anyone talking about needing boundaries? Maybe you’ve heard of boundaries when it refers to not wanting to let someone or something continue to negatively affect you. Have you also heard of needing boundaries in your marriage or relationship? Not sure you need boundaries? The Bible says that “two shall become one flesh.” This can be confusing. How can setting limits and boundaries in our relationships be a good thing, especially when it comes to committed, put a ring on it, relationships?
Among the five love languages, acts of service may be the easiest love language to perform. This is because ANY act done with intentionality and thought can make a person who has this primary love language feel appreciated and loved. Although, it’s not that simple, because just doing ANY act of love, doesn’t necessarily translate to a person feeling loved.
Recently, several of my new clients have come to me highlighting that they are struggling with specific areas in their life where they feel stuck. As I have been working with them, the topic of habits has regularly arisen in our conversations. These conversations reminded me that our tendencies play a huge role in the outcome of most things we do. Yes, other factors affect our daily lives, such as the environment, other people, specific circumstances, and more. But it’s amazing how our consistent patterns of behavior and choices play a large role in our successes and when we fall short of our aspirations.
Have you ever been given a gift you loved? How did you feel? I bet you were elated and felt warmth all inside you. You knew the person giving the gift knew what you liked. What about the times you received a gift that you didn’t want? How did you feel then? I know I have felt upset. I even asked myself, “Does this person even know me? Surely this is a prank.” But it wasn’t! Gift-giving is important and is a great way to show people you love them and how much you prioritize them.
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