Emotions can be complex. They can take us on a ride we don’t want to be on sometimes. The ups and downs can be exhausting and confusing. Some of us stuff our emotions so deeply that we don’t even recognize their signals or significance anymore. Maybe our past experiences with family, friends, or even church have led us here. Understanding and untangling our emotions takes both time and lots of effort.
In the book Untangle Your Emotions, Jennie Allen takes us on a journey of recognizing emotions and learning to feel the weight of their significance. I can tell you from being on a journey of healing myself and participating in EMDR therapy personally for almost 2 years that when you finally start to recognize and become more aware of your emotions it can be a lot to process.
Everyone Has Struggles
I had no idea 3 years ago that my control issues in my marriage came out of the emotions of anxiety I was having. Sure, it seems obvious now, but it has taken years of peeling the onion layers and getting to the root. I did this with the guidance of a Christian counselor who is helping me peel back the onion layers to reveal the deeper issues driving my need for control.
As I’ve traveled along the journey of healing, I have uncovered traumatic events in my life, which were just my normal. I didn’t even realize how much they affected me. When I began to feel them, the healing also began.
Just like with any new journey in life, the more we go down the path with more frequent visits to the emotions along the way, the better and stronger our skills of recognizing the emotion and processing how to move forward effectively. We are able to rewire our neural pathways. New paths can be forged. Friend, it takes work! It’s worth it though! Every bit of effort on our end will pay off!
Finding Help for Healing and Emotional Stress
It’s crucial to find help with this process if you need it. A counselor can help you work through the healing journey. You don’t realize it, but you are too close to your own self sometimes to understand and see things that others can see. Processing things with a professional may help you notice bits and pieces you don’t understand about your emotions or yourself that you don’t see. This book is a great starting place, but don’t use this book alone if you are on a path of healing.
Emotions, sometimes called feelings, are tools that help us tell what’s happening in our lives, like a barometer. Sometimes we think of them as warning signals or reflexes that help to tell us more about what’s going on around us. Because we can only be aware of about 20% of what’s going on at any given time, God gave us emotions to help us out.
Emotions Are A Gift From God
God designed us with emotions. He declared that His creation is good. This includes our emotions, right? There are moments when you could potentially be triggered and not know why or how it happened. This “trigger” is most likely an emotion telling you something. Sometimes, you won’t recognize the emotion, which is a good reason to become aware of each emotion you have and name them.
Tips for Managing Your Emotions
There are many ways to manage emotions. We want to present a few that may can help.
Naming Emotions
Naming our emotions can be a challenge, but helpful. In her book, Jennie Allen advocates for naming your emotions and backs this tool up with a discussion from research about naming emotions She also gives great examples of her own experiences that can help you relate.
The author shares her personal experiences of healing. She was at a point in her healing journey where she had stuffed emotions so long, that she struggled not only to name them but also to feel them. I can relate to that! Can you?
Building a Community to Heal Emotions Together
Allen states, “Feelings don’t heal when we ignore them; they heal when we are wrapped up by the people we love in the middle of them.” (p. 197) That one sentence is packed full of wisdom. The wisdom she provides is so helpful! She stresses the importance of healing in community. The power of healing through being a part of a community is essential to this journey. We, as people, are created to be relational. Many of us have been hurt in relationships, but relationships are also how we heal. That can be downright overwhelming and scary to someone who has pain from past experiences with others. There is beauty in this though. We are able to forge new paths with friendships and relationships that will leave us more healed than we ever could imagine. God designed us to live in communion and fellowship with others.
Faith and Spirituality Helps Healing and Managing Emotions
Faith and spirituality have many benefits that can help you heal and manage emotions. In her book, Allen presents a Christian perspective while discussing healing. The significance of the church recognizing mental health struggles and participating in the trenches of life is crucial to individuals healing from broken relationships. Whether it be families of origin, marriages, friendships, dating relationships, or even pain caused by a church experience, healing this pain happens best when we are willing to be vulnerable, transparent, and safe with other people. As an author who understands this significance, she brings us on her own path and the path of other folks’ healing. Friend, if they can do it, so can we.
Allen says this: “Faith isn’t summoned; it grows. It grows because of a relationship, not because of your willpower.” (p. 202) Just like faith, the journey of healing will bring you Peace that surpasses understanding the more we focus on practicing the right skills. These are behaviors any of us are capable of learning and most importantly, applying.
Conclusion
If you’re looking to change your current circumstances and need help with healing emotions, this book is a great start. It will bring up lots of insights for your journey that you will want to talk through with your counselor, spouse, or significant other. Healing is possible. Feeling is possible. Naming your emotion is possible. Today is the day to start the journey. No more stuffing emotions down. Let’s work through them and find out what they are telling us. You have them, so learn about them so you can use their power to help you.
References and Resources
Allen, J. (2024). Untangle your emotions: Naming what you feel and knowing what to do about it. WaterBrook.
Author:
Nicole Waters
Nicole is our office administrator. She is passionate about helping people heal from emotional and mental health traumas. She enjoys being the first person our clients talk to and works hard to make them feel comfortable, understood, and supported.
