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How to Handle Family Drama: 3 Essential Holiday Survival Tips

The holidays are often painted as the most wonderful time of the year, filled with joy, laughter, and togetherness. But let’s be honest: they can also bring stress, tension, and uncomfortable moments—especially when navigating family dynamics.

Picture this: The smell of roasted turkey fills the air, and your favorite dessert is cooling on the counter. You hear familiar voices in the living room, bringing back warm memories of past holidays. But then, from another room, raised voices interrupt the nostalgia. Questions you’d rather avoid about your life choices or future plans make the atmosphere tense. Suddenly, you’re reminded of both why you love this time of year and why it’s so complicated.

So, how can you navigate the holidays with family—especially when relationships get tricky? Here are three relatable and actionable tips to help you and your partner handle the season with grace and connection:

Tip #1: Talk to Your Partner Ahead of Time About Expectations and Boundaries

Before the holiday chaos begins, sit down with your partner to align on plans, expectations, and boundaries. This conversation can set the tone for a more united holiday experience. Here’s what to consider:

  • Scheduling: What do your schedules look like? Will you be traveling, and how much time can you realistically spend with each family?
  • Sensitive Topics: What subjects do you want to avoid with family members? Discussing potential triggers ahead of time can help you both navigate tricky situations.

For example, maybe politics, relationship status, or family planning are topics you’d rather not discuss. Agreeing on a united front can prevent unnecessary friction and help you both feel supported.

Tip #2: Set Boundaries with Family About Holiday Events

Holidays can quickly become overwhelming with packed schedules and endless commitments. Setting clear boundaries helps protect your time and energy while prioritizing your relationship.

Consider this approach:

  • “Mom, we’re really looking forward to spending time with you! We’ll be available on Saturday from 12 PM to 2 PM, as we have other plans afterward.”

This phrasing communicates excitement while clearly defining a time frame. Starting with positivity can help your family feel valued while also respecting your limits. Adapt this script to fit your style and situation—the key is to balance warmth with clarity.

Tip #3: Check In with Your Partner Throughout the Season

The holidays can stir up a whirlwind of emotions. Regularly checking in with your partner helps maintain a strong connection and fosters empathy.

Try asking questions like:

  • “How are you feeling about spending time with your family?”
  • “What’s been on your mind after today’s visit?”

These simple yet meaningful questions show your partner you care about their experience. Keep the tone conversational and supportive. The goal is to create a safe space for open dialogue, not force a formal discussion.

Conclusion

The holidays are a time for celebration, but they can also bring challenges. By talking openly with your partner, setting thoughtful boundaries, and staying connected through check-ins, you can transform holiday stress into opportunities for growth and connection. Working as a team will not only help you survive the season but also deepen your relationship in the process.

Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your partnership. With a little planning and a lot of empathy, you can make the holidays truly joyful—on your own terms.

A picture of Bethany Stanley, LAPC.

Author:

Bethany Stanley is a Licensed Associate Professional Counselor. She provides couples counseling and individual counseling as a therapist at Legacy Marriage Resources, LLC based in Augusta, Georgia. Find out more about her in her Bio.

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