In the mental health profession, we often talk about setting boundaries—whether in our interpersonal relationships, in how we relate to ourselves, or in the expectations we hold. But before we can set boundaries, we have to understand what they are and why they matter.
In our previous post, “New Year, New Hope: Goal Setting for a Stronger Marriage,” we discussed how setting goals as a couple can breathe new life into your relationship. Now, we’re diving even deeper with additional tips and strategies to help you maintain momentum and create lasting change throughout the year. Let’s explore three more ways to strengthen your bond and keep the spirit of renewal alive in your partnership.
The holidays are often painted as the most wonderful time of the year, filled with joy, laughter, and togetherness. But let’s be honest: they can also bring stress, tension, and uncomfortable moments—especially when navigating family dynamics.
It is not uncommon for me to remind clients during sessions that love is more than an emotion we feel, but also a choice we make daily and an action. Love is an emotion we feel powered by connection. Love is a choice we make each morning when we wake up, and actively throughout the day. Love is the way we show affection to our partner. Love is such a deep concept. I was reading, A Roadmap for Couple Therapy, in some of my downtime, and in chapter 3 the quote above really stuck out to me. Let’s break this down and explore it together, shall we?
Are you someone who likes to hold hands, give or receive hugs, or just be close to people physically? We each have different preferences in how we feel loved. Sometimes we give love differently from how we receive it. When it comes to the love language of physical touch, people can have different views of what this looks like. Many might think of physical touch primarily for intimacy, but it’s much more than that. It’s a great way to show your “nearness,” “I’m thinking of you,” and “I like you.” A simple touch of the hand or even just being close can make your partner feel more safe, secure, and connected to you.
Among the five love languages, acts of service may be the easiest love language to perform. This is because ANY act done with intentionality and thought can make a person who has this primary love language feel appreciated and loved. Although, it’s not that simple, because just doing ANY act of love, doesn’t necessarily translate to a person feeling loved.
Have you ever been given a gift you loved? How did you feel? I bet you were elated and felt warmth all inside you. You knew the person giving the gift knew what you liked. What about the times you received a gift that you didn’t want? How did you feel then? I know I have felt upset. I even asked myself, “Does this person even know me? Surely this is a prank.” But it wasn’t! Gift-giving is important and is a great way to show people you love them and how much you prioritize them.
Picture this. Your friend calls you and you haven’t spoken to him in a while. When you get off the phone, your wife has that look on her face. She’s probably mad or agitated at you. You’re not sure why, but you kind of know. You spent an hour on the phone. But why does she care so much? It’s just your best friend from high school. It’s been a little while since you have talked to him. You wonder why she is always upset at you.
As we have discussed in a previous post about the 5 Love Languages, love languages can give insight into how you and your partner give and receive love. This time we will specifically discuss quality time, and 3 tips on how to prioritize your partner whose primary love language is quality time.
Have you ever given your partner a gift, but they just didn’t seem too excited about receiving it? Maybe you felt disappointed that they did not react more enthusiastically. Or have you ever gotten frustrated because you want to go out and do something together, while your partner doesn’t seem to make an effort to create quality time together?
Well, these scenarios might be happening because you and your partner don’t fully understand each other’s love languages. A great resource for this topic is Dr. Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages.
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