Does it seem like you and your spouse or partner never connect on your beliefs about God or on a spiritual level? Maybe you never talk about your faith. Yet, it’s important to you, and that’s something you have been asking for. There are reasons why couples struggle to practice their faith and spirituality together. Our relationship with God can be very personal. Potentially, anxiety or fear may arise if we let someone into that arena in our lives. However, faith can be an important part of people’s lives, and oftentimes, faith practices help to guide individuals towards decision-making, among other things. Thus, we encourage you to participate in your relationship with God together as well as personally. Here at LMR, we offer faith-based counseling in tandem with our other services. While this is not a requirement for our clients, it certainly can be a helpful resource for those who do value faith practices in their day-to-day lives.
Faith practices are things like praying, worshiping, reading your Bible, meditating on Scripture, fasting, and more. Doing these activities can be a way to connect more deeply with your partner, especially if it is important to you individually. Make sure you consider how individual and relationship values align, as well. It is important to ask ourselves: How do faith practices impact our relationship with our partner? If you desire to implement activities like these in your relationship, we are here to help! Here are some tips for implementing such practices into your marriage or with others that you love.
Pick out a Devotional Together
Reading a devotional together can be a great way to connect more deeply with each other through your beliefs about God. Whether you and your partner pick a couples devotional or an individual devotional, the point is to find material that you both can grow and learn from. For example, you may find a devotional on the Bible app that is for individual use, but you can do it together. Finding a devotional you are both interested in is ideal.
Once you find some devotionals, talk about why it would be important to you to work through each devotional and the impact it might have on you and your relationship. Then, based on your conversation, agree on one of the devotions to start reading together. As we will talk about in the next section, you should try to set aside daily or weekly times to sit down together and discuss how ya’ll are interpreting what you are reading and how you might apply what you are reading. This will help you create a consistent routine. This scheduled time to read a devotional and talk together about spiritual things can be something that you look forward to. You might try to add discussion questions to your devotional time to have an even deeper connection to the material that you are going through.
Don’t be afraid to share your views with your partner, as this can help build a sense of trust, vulnerability, and a richer understanding of the text and each other. To make it more structured and give you both responsibility in the activity, consider alternating who comes up with the questions each session. This also gives you each a say in the discussion, and you each get a chance to grow.
Designate time together to have conversations about your faith and beliefs
Setting aside time to have faith conversations can be impactful. For deeper conversations, setting aside time can help you to make sure the conversation is more meaningful and impactful. The goal is to express your individual perspectives about your faith and get comfortable talking about your beliefs with your partner.
An example of this could be if you or your partner is wrestling with a more complex faith topic. When you create space to talk about it, you both have more opportunity to grow. During that time, you may be practicing interpersonal skills as well. You might use healthy conflict resolution by discussing where you agree and disagree, and examining together the possible solutions to your differences. Additionally, setting aside time for prayer, Bible reading, or other more outward displays of faith can help you build your individual faith relationship with God, as well as become closer to your partner in that space.
Find a congregation and worship together
As a couple, it can be helpful to find a congregation (church) that you can both worship at and feel comfortable getting involved with. Finding a church that fits both of your spiritual needs can help you to not only grow in your personal spiritual walk, but also as a couple. Here are some tips for finding a church together:
- Make a list of what is important to each of you: What are some “non-negotiables” for each of you when it comes to faith and corporate worship? Ask: What are some important things that matter to you when it comes to attending a church?
- Narrow down what is most important: Rank that list in order of importance, and then see where you can find middle ground, if necessary. Set aside any areas where you are struggling to agree for now.
- Discuss what style of worship service you each are looking for: Do you prefer more contemporary or traditional services? Would you prefer a smaller or larger congregation size?
- Once you have a list, start trying the churches on your list: Commit to attending two to three times.
- Have an open and honest discussion about the churches that you try: What do you like or dislike about each of them? What are the “pros and cons” of each? Being open about your feelings will be key in the decision-making process, so don’t be afraid to speak your mind.
- Talk with the pastoral staff from the churches that you are seriously considering: Having a pastor or pastoral staff that you can trust is a key part of this process. Because of this, it is important to have in-depth discussions with your partner about your position and views on each of the churches and their staff. Being in unity with each other can promote health in the relationship, while being in disunity can create strife, further insecurities, and ultimately cause a rift in your relationship.
Conclusion
Faith practices can be an important aspect of our individual lives, as well as in our relationships. Because of this, it is important to think about how it will impact your relationship, and what steps you can each take to ensure a healthy spiritual life together. As we’ve discussed, these 3 ways to infuse faith practices into your relationship can be beneficial for your spiritual health and your connection. While it may be difficult to navigate, it is important to give each other grace and space to process each change and attempt to implement these practices into your lives.
Our desire is for you to grow your love and connection with your spouse or partner. We love giving you ways to make your relationship more meaningful. The 3 opportunities above are just a short list of ways to implement spiritual practices into your relationship. We encourage you to try to think of others, but these would be a great starting point. If you would like help with implementing faith practices into your relationship or deepening your connection in any way, let us help you. Call our office to set up a couples counseling appointment with one of our counselors in Augusta, GA, or through our online platform.
