Praying together may be something you’ve thought about, or maybe you’ve never considered it before. Perhaps you don’t like praying out loud and feel embarrassed, or you feel strongly that prayer is a private matter. At the same time, you may want to pray together—or your spouse may have asked you to. What do you do when praying with the person you love feels awkward?
You’re not alone. Many couples feel uncomfortable at first. New habits often feel strange, but praying as a couple is worth it. The Bible reminds us that “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12, NIV). When we come together before God, He meets us there. Even Jesus’ disciples prayed together in one accord before the Holy Spirit showed up (Acts 1:14).
Prayer is powerful, but it doesn’t have to feel forced or intimidating. Here are three simple ways to begin praying together that will make it less awkward and more natural.
1. Start Small with a Gratitude List
Jumping straight into out-loud prayer can feel intimidating. Instead, begin by writing down short prayers of gratitude. Make a simple list of things you’re thankful for, and use those words in prayer. You can even write it out in sentences if that is your style. By writing it down, you already have the words in front of you when you start to pray, and that means you don’t have to think of something on the spot. Sometimes the hardest part is what to say in the moment, but if you have it already written down, it’s simpler.
Examples:
- “Thank You, Father, for my spouse and kids.”
- “Thank You, Lord, for providing for our family.”
Keeping it short takes the pressure off. Gratitude also starts your prayers on a positive note. It’s also good for your relationship. Research suggests gratitude improves relationship satisfaction by fostering closeness and positive emotions between partners (Mahoney, 2013; Uecker, Luckhaupt, & Wilcox, 2022). One more thing: being thankful starts your prayer off on the right foot. It’s positive and is definitely how Jesus taught us to pray. We want to acknowledge God and His goodness, holiness, and what He has done for us. That’s not so hard, is it?.
Scripture inspiration: “Give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NIV).
2. Use Scripture as a Guide
We know it can be hard to know what to pray for or how to pray. Scripture has a formula and other directions on how to pray, such as the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13. Having a structure to your prayer can help. You don’t have to keep that structure, but it’s a starting point.
Another idea is to pick out some favorite passages that you love or that speak to you. Pray about what inspires you or what impacted you in those verses. The Psalms is a book full of prayers. Psalms are full of heartfelt prayers that can be read and prayed together. If you pick a shorter verse, use it as inspiration while you pray. The idea is to read a short passage together and let it inspire your prayer together.
Try this: read Psalm 23 with your spouse, then pray through it one verse at a time. For example, “Lord, thank You for guiding us as our Shepherd.” This removes the anxiety of “finding the right words” and ensures your prayer is rooted in God’s will. Using Scripture makes prayer feel less like a performance and more like a conversation with God. Focus on the Family also offers practical encouragement for couples who want to pray together.
3. Pray Silently, Then Share a Thought
If praying out loud feels overwhelming, start with silent prayer. Sit together, hold hands, and pray quietly for one or two minutes. The intent of your heart matters more than the words you speak.
Afterward, share one thought from your silent prayer. For example: “I prayed for your work stress this week” or “I thanked God for our kids.” This opens a window into your inner world and helps your spouse feel closer and more trusted.
If your intent is eventually to pray out loud together, then doing this exercise can bridge the gap between private and shared prayer. Take your time and don’t feel like it has to happen today or this week. Accept each other’s views and give each other space to grow and get comfortable with each other. Doing this can open the door to externally praying together.
Closing Encouragement
Praying together doesn’t have to be perfect—or even out loud. What matters most is showing up together before God with open hearts.
It’s normal to feel uncomfortable when starting something new, but small steps make the process easier. Be consistent. Even one minute at a time can strengthen your connection with God and with each other. Over time, awkwardness fades and confidence grows.
Remember: it’s not about perfect words, it’s about presence. When you pray with your spouse, you’re building trust, intimacy, and faith in ways that last.
References
Focus on the Family. (n.d.). When two pray. Focus on the Family. Retrieved September 12, 2025, from https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/when-two-pray/
Mahoney, A. (2013). The spirituality of us: Relational spirituality in the context of family relationships. Religion Compass, 7(1), 1–16. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2012.00439.x
Uecker, J. E., Luckhaupt, S. E., & Wilcox, W. B. (2022). Spousal religiosity and relationship quality: A longitudinal analysis of married couples. Scientific Reports, 12(1), 12003. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-022-15650-4
